Living a Mother’s Day Hell

John Feature

Usually when I start telling a story, I have a general idea how it’s going to end.

Not this time.

I DO know that the last line of this blog post will be “Please pray for my mom,” but the story itself will be far from over. The ending could be wonderfully great OR tragic.

I’ll start with a harmless question: How did you spend Mother’s Day?

If you didn’t spend it confronting your meth addicted son and pleading with him to get professional help – like my mom did – I would count your blessings and consider it a joyous weekend.

We found out about my brother’s meth addiction last Wednesday, and our love-inspired and motivated family put our lives on hold and took immediate action.

• We did our research on the drug.

• We located a treatment facility for him.

• We met with an interventionist.

• We put a game plan together.

That game plan consisted of expressing our undying love and support, but also putting some non-negotiable ultimatums in place. All of this was in the form of thoughtfully crafted letters.

It was the most emotionally exhausting day of my life. (I can’t imagine the impact it had on my mom.)

For seven hours, we had a conversation with one of the most psychologically addictive drugs on planet earth. The meth was communicating to us through the man I used to call my brother – the man my mom used to call her son.

After we read our non-negotiable bottom lines – which included calling the police, banning him from our homes and stripping him of his spiritual duties as a Godfather – he reluctantly decided to get in the car and go to treatment.

Happy Mother’s Day, right?

Not so fast.

Meth is the devil in crystal form.

I won’t bore you with the dramatic details created by the drugs, and I’ll just jump to the end of the story: Before being admitted to the treatment facility, my brother grabbed his bags and walked out the front door. All he had to do was sign his name on the consent form, and he would have started down the road to recovery.

Instead, he decided to run away – bound and determine to beat his addiction on his own.

I pray he can stare the devil in the face and say “fuck you,” but I’m confidently pessimistic he will fail miserably. According to the research, he has a better chance of dying from a stroke or heart attack and/or developing terminal psychotic behavior.

That thought makes me cry. Actually, every aspect of this nightmarish hell
makes me cry.

Click to keep reading

, , ,

21 Comments on “Living a Mother’s Day Hell”

  1. trisha
    May 14, 2012 at 4:29 pm #

    Much love to all of you! I’m so sorry!

  2. Leslie Farnsworth
    May 14, 2012 at 7:56 pm #

    Drew,

    This is an instance when I so want to console you and find words so lacking. I wish I could fix this for you, for your mother, for your father, your sister… your brother. He’s luckier than he knows to have a family like yours, Drew. I hope he is able to find the strength and wisdom to raise his hand for help through the drug haze.

    I’m sending you and your family positive thoughts and love through this. I wish I could give you a hug. I know I’m far away, and we haven’t been in the greatest touch lately, but if there is anything–anything whatsoever–that I can do, I trust that you’ll let me know. And that includes just being a friend to talk to on the phone for a bit.

    Love and hugs from Houston,
    Leslie

    • Drew Myers
      May 14, 2012 at 9:11 pm #

      Leslie, I appreciate your kind words. You’re sweet. I know we’re going through this hell for a reason – I can’t wait to figure out why. DM

  3. sillygirlstarlet
    May 14, 2012 at 9:36 pm #

    Oh my, Lord. I kept reading this wondering if Drew was talking or if this was a story about another person. You seem to be in a “good place”. I know that sounds ridiculous but I can tell you from dealing with B’s crazy, destructive sibling junk that you’re a lot farther along, mentally speaking, than most at the start of this awful road. We’ll be praying for you!! And I’m so sorry.

  4. Monica O'Donnell
    May 15, 2012 at 5:06 am #

    Drew, I am so saddened and scared by this. I love your family so much and am so sorry you guys are going through this. I am praying for you all.

  5. campclem
    May 15, 2012 at 7:39 am #

    Drew,
    I am so saddened to read this. Praying God will carry you all through to VICTORY. Praying peace beyond understanding for you, your sisters, and your mom. Praying an inescapable LACK of peace for your dear brother, one that drives him straight to Jesus’s arms & healing.

    • Drew Myers
      May 15, 2012 at 9:02 am #

      Gina, I know you’re a woman of very strong faith – so I know your promise to pray for my family is not lip service. Thank you.

      • campclem
        May 15, 2012 at 9:08 am #

        Thank you for keeping us posted.

  6. Brad Dodson
    May 15, 2012 at 10:21 am #

    Drew,

    My family will be praying for your family. Drug addiction is such a frustrating thing; you are completely justified in referring to it as the devil. I am going to focus my prayer on your brother first and foremost and ask God to deliver him the clarity to see what he is truly up against and the strength to ask God for deliverance. In this prayer, I will ask that your brother see the most wonderful tool He has provided him – a family that is in love with him and desperate to do everything they can to help him through this jungle.

    I know your heart is heavy, but I know your heart is large and was made for this…all of the work you’ve done for others, each of the hugs and motivational sessions you’ve provided so many, every prayer and thought you’ve had for another person who is struggling – these will return to you, and those you love, abundantly. You were formed into the man you are specifically to handle this and clear a path for your brother and family. Regardless how long the journey and how great the work to clear the obstacles from his way, I know that you are capable and will deliver. Always, I know that God will be with each of you.

    I hope to meet your brother one day. I have a rope of three strands waiting to be built for him, your mother and you.

    With love,

    Brad

    • Drew Myers
      May 15, 2012 at 1:04 pm #

      Thanks, Brad. Your comments and kind words mean a lot to me. DM

  7. Joy
    May 15, 2012 at 11:54 am #

    Drew,

    I don’t know you or your family but I do know your story. The devil that we fought was heroin and my nephew thought this devil was his best friend. I can only tell you that through prayer my nephew has won the first round in his battle. He knows this will be a battle that will consist of many rounds that he will fight daily for the rest of his life. My family will be praying for your family asking that God will be there beside your brother, helping him to win each round that he must fight.

    Joy

    • Drew Myers
      May 15, 2012 at 1:06 pm #

      Joy,

      Thank you for sharing. It’s stories like this that give us hope, which is exactly what we need right now. I like your use of the word “fight,” because we feel like as long as you keep fighting, you have a chance to “win.”

      DM

  8. Tommy
    May 15, 2012 at 2:08 pm #

    Having read this I believe.

    You have the ability to elevate your family through your heart!

    Some of lifes greatest accomplishments come through overcoming pain.

    That were there is hope there is possibilty and that can turn into action.

    You are special through your spirit and your family. You will overcome because God didnt grant you with the ability to recognize or embrace the word failure through family or self.

    My prayers are with you as you lead your family.
    Tommy

  9. Petey Parker
    May 15, 2012 at 4:27 pm #

    Drew – We know exactly how you feel and how many tears will fall and how faith and faith alone gets you through it. Your family is our family and we are united in prayers.

  10. Cory B
    May 15, 2012 at 11:30 pm #

    Drew, my family and I will be praying for you and your family. Everything is in God’s Hands. Trust them.

  11. Dana Elsom
    May 16, 2012 at 9:02 am #

    I will absolutely be praying for your brother & the rest of the family. We live in a broken world with broken people. It is by God’s grace that we are not drug addicts too. My heart is grieving for you all.

  12. Julie Loeffelholz
    May 16, 2012 at 12:32 pm #

    My prayers are with you and your family. Your brother has a wonderful, caring family and I pray he accepts your help.

  13. Debbie Fuller
    May 16, 2012 at 12:37 pm #

    Drew, you have written the story and the feelings on your heart beautifully. Most of all, you have expressed profound love for your mom and dad, your sisters, and yes, even your brother.
    I have known your mom about 30 years. I love, respect, and admire the beautiful woman she is. She has stood by my side through so many difficult life situations, always urging me to use my heart and common sense. She truly is one of the strongest women I have ever known. When it comes to your children, a mom would gladly give her own life to protect her child, no matter the age. She is hurting to the deepest part of her soul, but God will get her through. You, Sue, Allie, are her lifelines. Protect her, love her unconditionally. I forget the scripture number, but “All things work together for the glory of God.” I love your family dearly. I will be here for your mom at a moment’s notice. I cannot imagine my life without your mom’s love and friendship. Thank you for sharing your family’s hurt and need. We will be here to help – in any way needed.
    All my love,
    Debbie

  14. Cheri
    March 12, 2013 at 10:49 pm #

    Thank you for sharing this. My older brother is a meth addict. I found out in July 2012. I am his sister two years younger. I have always been his biggest fan yet i had no idea he had a drug addiction, let alone meth. He looks me straight in the eye and tells me he is clean now. He is going to NA supposedly 4x a week. He also has to check in with a court monthly. These things bring me comfort but without medical help how can he really quit successfully? I have no idea how long he’s ever gone without using. I’m afraid to ask bc I don’t want to know the answer. I am heartbroken. He’s dead but he’s still alive. It’s such a tease. I pray for your family and your mom and dad. You are strong and brave for giving your brother the ultimatum. I try to ask the tough questions but I’m afraid he’ll get offended and shut me out. So instead I choose to standby and watch him struggle… It’s amazing bc he is smart and to me the answers are all right in front of him. Maybe his brain truly doesn’t work the same way anymore. More heartbreak.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 27 other followers

%d bloggers like this: