Butt Out: Family Tradition Pinched?

Pinchy Butt Feature

My family has some wonderfully great traditions.

Probably our most celebrated ritual is our homemade Christmas gifts. I’ve written about this ad nauseam.

Another family tradition we have – one that’s definitely not advertised as much – is the infamous game of “Pinchy Butt.”

We probably don’t talk about it openly, because…well…it toes the line as kind of weird. I have NO idea how this started, but for some reason it’s been engrained in our family culture. 

I have “Pinchy Butt” pictures from when I was a toddler. 

The premise of this “game” is pretty simple: A bare-butt child runs around – usually after a bath – while others try to pinch his/her rear end. “Pinchy Butt.”

Hopefully this does not come across as creepy or inappropriate. It’s good clean fun. In our family it has almost turned into a sign of love and affection. Hugs. Kisses. “Pinchy Butt.”

My son LOVES “Pinchy Butt” – to the point that he gets upset when we don’t play.

As soon as he gets out of the bath, he’s asking for “Pinchy Butt.”

He’ll dash out of the bathroom, find the closest family member, turn around and back up his little butt cheeks until he’s close enough for a pinch. Everyone laughs and squeals!

“PINCHY BUTT!”

If he’s not in the mood for the easy “Pinchy Butt,” Crash will initiate a short chase around the room. (Sometimes around the whole house.)

“PINCHY BUTT! PINCHY BUTT!”

Again, it’s harmless.

To protect myself in a court of law, I do have a couple of disclaimers:

DISCLAMIER 1: In regards to age, the window of opportunity for “Pinchy Butt” is extremely small. Explanation: My folks don’t play “Pinchy Butt” with my 30-year-old sister. (We don’t even play my 7-year-old niece anymore.) At a certain age, everyone just realizes: “Ummm…you’re too old for ‘Pinchy Butt’ and it stops.”

DISCLAIMER 2: We do NOT play “Pinchy Butt” with kids outside our immediate family – friends and extended family members can rest easy. Your kids’ butts are safe.

OK…no more disclaimers (my attorney says that I’m protected.)

I’m writing this blog post to deliver some sad news about our longtime tradition: I’m proposing to the rest of my family that we stop playing “Pinchy Butt” immediately.

NOTE: This is a self-induced ban…child protective services and/or local authorities were NOT involved.

Wait…there’s more. Click to read!

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2 Comments on “Butt Out: Family Tradition Pinched?”

  1. allie
    June 25, 2012 at 2:11 pm #

    I hope people know the correct pronunciation is “peeeenchy butt”.

  2. allie
    July 12, 2012 at 11:42 am #

    When a C.I.A. operation causes an unintended negative consequence, it is called “blowback.”

    I agree with you Drew: when pinching a naked baby’s butt, blowback is a real concern (pun definitely intended)

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