A Day in the Life II: Halting Delirium’s Rally

EDITOR’S NOTE: This is a continuation of a recent post about the regimented schedule I have for my two-year-old son. When his flight attendant mom is working – we’re alone, and it’s us versus Delirium from the moment he wakes up. (original post)

AFTERNOON DELIGHT: Let the Adventure Begin

If we don’t leave the house at least once during the course of the day, Delirium will put together an impressive rally and kick our ass.

Office Depot

That’s why we plan at least one “adventure” a day – normally after The Boy gets up from his siesta. At that point of the afternoon, the house is clean, he has recharged his batteries and I’m officially craving adult interaction.

Now, when I say “adventure” that might be a trip to the grocery store or the dry cleaners. As long as it gets us out of the house, I don’t care if we play in the “urine balls” at McDonald’s.

Reminder: Adult. Interaction.

And yes, the acne-faced high school kid working behind the counter at McDonald’s qualifies as “adult.” While Crash is playing in the “germ incubator,” I have NO PROBLEM striking up a conversation with Mickey-D’s Register Guy:

ME: “So…have you guys been pretty busy today?”

REGISTER GUY (looking confused): “Ummm…I don’t know….”

ME: “I really don’t like McDonald’s anymore – the smell actually makes me…

REGISTER GUY (interrupting): “Sir, did you need anything?”

ME (craning my neck to make sure The Boy is not drowning in the plastic balls): “Nope…we had corndogs and oranges for lunch…do you like corndogs?”

REGISTER GUY (being somewhat firm): “Sir….there are four people behind you…ummmm…would you mind leaving?”

Fort Worth Library

One of our newest explorations has been to the public library. Besides a handful of Fort Worth’s resourceful homeless population, we usually have the run of the joint. (Which is good, because Crash is still working on finding his inside voice.)

I usually talk to the volunteer greeters, while Crash tries to clear as many bookshelves as possible.

ME: “So…have you ever had to tackle someone trying to steal a library book?”

VOLUNTEER (ignoring my question and looking over my shoulder with judgement): “Is that your son?”

Delirium starting to rally?

Another standing adventure we have is riding bikes to the park. We spend 20 to 30 minutes swinging, sliding and stealing the basketball from the older kids trying to play a pick-up game. 

I use this particular adventure as my opportunity to get advice from other Domestic Administrators and swap war stories. 

ME: “How do you keep your kid from pulling the racks out of the dishwasher?”

ME: “What is your kid’s favorite chores?”

THEM: “Ummm….is Delirium winning today?”

ME: “Nope! Why do you ask?”

Team Myers 4, Delirium 0

– – –

HOME STRETCH: Sanity on the Horizon

5 p.m. – Dinner.

7 p.m. – Bath.

7:15 p.m. – Rangers.

7:20 p.m. – Books.

7:30 p.m. – Prayers.

7:35 p.m. – Bed.

8 p.m. – Asleep?

I’m not bragging, but I’m pretty proficient about nailing this schedule. I feel like if I can make it to dinner with a lead, Delirium WILL be defeated.

Wait! There’s more…Click to keep reading

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