I need more stalkers. There…I said it!
I’ve recently discovered that I can’t rely on family and friends to “fund” my new adventure. Here’s the thing…in order to get paid for writing, people have to actually read my stuff (revolutionary concept, I know); but more often than not, I have a conversation with a friend and/or relative similar to this:
FRIEND/RELATIVE: “Are you still working for Company X?”
ME (brow furrowed in slight confusion): “Noooo.”
FRIEND/RELATIVE: “Really? Where do you work now?”
ME (brow furrowed and head tilted in severe confusion): “I retired.”
FRIEND/RELATIVE: “No seriously…what are you doing?”
ME (realizing they haven’t read my blog, they’ve blocked me on Facebook and stopped following me on Twitter): “I’m staying at home with Crash and writing.”
FRIEND/RELATIVE: “I had no idea.”
ME (with hurt in my eyes and a slight crack of the voice): “Seriously, Mom?!?!?!?”
I’m kidding about having that conversation with my mother, but it’s not that big of a stretch. I‘ve actually had similar discussions with my closest friends and immediate family members – people that I envisioned hanging on my EVERY online word.
Wrong! So very wrong!
This happened just the other night. One of my college buddies asked me what was going on. I explained. He responded with several emotions:
• Befuddlement (“Are you kidding?”)
• Perplexity (“Why didn’t you tell me?”)
• Anxiety (“How are you paying the bills?”)
His exact words: “That doesn’t sound very stable.”
I tried to explain, but I did a horrible job. He heard “retired,” “stay-at-home” and “writer.” He turned it into:
“A poor, unemployed guy who likes to blog.”
I could see it in his eyes – his judgment was cast. I went into defense mode and muddled through my passionate argument of living a bold and adventurous life.
I finally just stopped and said: “I’ve never been this focused, happy and determined.”
He released his hypercritical gaze, but the damage was done. I was already in the “death spiral.”